I am furious about the rise in the price of oil. How about you? This classic asset bubble is emptying every ones pockets giving us hard times. We had no need to be involved, unless we wanted to, in previous asset bubbles such as the property, dotcom or even the dutch tulip bulbs. Dutch tulip bulbs? Those people were nuts. This is different we are all forced to be involved in this one. It's time for the most honoured, supreme, best in the world, special investigator David Markwick to get on the case and find out what is going on.
I will bring you full details on this oily bubble and then together - yes, just the two of us - me and thee the old firm - we will decide whether or not to take to the pins.
The price of oil has risen by fourty per cent in the last three months. Is this justified? Is there trouble getting enough crude to the refineries? Are we seeing lines of cars at filling stations? Is there a world oil shortage caused by geopolitical turmoil? No, No, No, No. Everthing is as it was three years ago. So what has caused this massive rise? We have to point the oily finger at speculators.
In January 2000, 37 per cent of the NYMEX crude future contracts were held by speculative traders in April 2008 that figure had soared to 71 per cent. Meanwhile the proportion of contracts held by commercial traders greatly declined. My word! Speculative traders have hijacked the world oil market! This is getting interesting.
Wall Street hedge fund manager Michael Master testified on 20 May that his pals on Wall Street are pushing up world oil prices through speculative investment. My word again! Speculators are rigging the market ramping up prices! Where do they come from? Bust out casino joints? Gaffed carnival game operators? These are certainly not the sort of people we would welcome in Rottingdean. He has also pointed out that with greater regulation oil prices could drop to about sixty dollars a barrel within thirty days. The soothsayers Goldman Sachs also project a low end for oil of $60 a barrel for 2008 - 20012 if normalised trends return to the market.
Well I certainly want Goldman Sachs normalised prices to return. What to do, what to do? How can we help? If you use less of a product there's more available right? If lots and lots of people join in and use less than they have to drop the price to get people to use it right? Well roll me over and give me a prick we've cracked it!. Me and thee the two of us are going to burst this bubble. The days are numbered for those oily dudes. This is what we are going to do.
For one week in September, from the 21st to the 28th, you and I are going to go to the extreme on non- usage of the black stuff. We are going to go for a repeat for two weeks in November from the 10th to the 24th and then the big one. The one month cracker for January 2009. Then if we have to we will repeat the cycle.
Listen up dude for those periods you cut your enery use like crazy. No trips! Business trips? - No Way! The jalopy stays cool don't use it, walk, bike, use public transport. If you have to use it then try to share and get the maximum mileage to fuel consumption by driving at ten percent below the speed limit. Drive like one of those dudes who wears a hat in the car and whose wife sits in the back. Ten per cent below change up quick, anticipate , be smooth and you will almost certainly be spending less on fuel than you were before all these rises. Relax man be cool. What's the big rush about getting there? Are you a very nervous individual who just has to drive fast? Central heating/air conditioning on later off earlier. and look at the settings. Driers, dish washers don't use them. Shopping expeditions cut down. Heating water - luke warm and wash instead of shower. You get the idea? You can think of some of your own ways of cutting down . Now we are going to need some help. We don't want to be the only ones sitting in a dark room with our coats on come January. You email this page to all your buddies and tell them to pass it on and I'll do the same with mine and maybe just maybe, if we can get the help of the good guys, the save the planet crew,and the dudes from those Asia/Pacific countries, we can prick this bubble.
